Pubic Transport

Such shocking public nudity. Sadly the photo is actually from the Paris Metro, not Newcastle. These days I'm never out late enough of a weekend to see naked women in Toon, but I fear that the commuters of Byker, hardened though they may be, will never be quite ready for the sight of a beautiful naked woman poledancing on her way to Whitley Bay.

Worryingly, the idea of this sort of thing ticks all my boxes. I suspect it may be the general idea of raw sexuality and even sluttishness but I do find stuff which effectively involves people exploring and submitting to their sexual side strangely arousing.As I get older I think my sexuality is taking a few odd twists and turns, which is a bit of a problem. When you've already been settled down with someone for several years, you're not really supposed to change like that are you? What happens if it becomes vitally important to you that you have sex covered in Jam, but your partner is unwilling to do so? What if you are suddenly aroused by the smell of mustard and your lover is equally allergic? It's a veritable minefield. (And believe me -I am using random examples here - my ever developing tastes are far less publicly acceptable than a mere condiment fetish.)

Maybe this side of me has manifested itself in a bit of a liking for the old alfresco sex.
Once, I had an encounter in the middle of Jesmond Dene during the day, and I once got down and dirty (literally) in a park in Bruges. The most memorable thing along these lines that I ever actually saw was, oddly enough in the grounds of Lord Brocket's Estate near Welwyn Garden City.

Whilst on a perfectly innocent walk, I saw what I naively thought was a guy helping his girlfriend over a fence.

Then he helped her back down again.

Then over again.

Then back down again.

As realisation dawned, I hid in some bushes for a good look. (I had VSM with me - it wasn't like I was a lone perv or anything). When they had 'finished' we walked past (we had to, it was the way out)and they were realxing against the gate. She was blonde with a short skirt, and they were both enjoying a post-coital cigarette in a cliched manner. Presumably he also had some distinguishing features - but frankly, I wasn't looking. The troop of scouts led by a vicar (really) who followed behind us had literally no idea of the close escape they had just had. I imagine that Benny Hill would have been proud.

Perhaps it boils down to the fact that I'm just a frustrated slut at heart myself. I've always been essentially a nice bloke as a rule, and I always went for nice girls (largely because the bad ones though I was too dull to bother with). This doesn't mean that I have regrets exactly, but there are quite a few things which I've never done and sometimes these can become a bit of an obsession - indeed the physical urge can be quite compelling when it's unlikely you'll ever do something at all. For example, I will never have a threesome unless VSM suddenly becomes Bisexual (and also into threesomes). Admittedly when I was 19 and slim, I did rapidly turn down the offer of a foursome. This was when it became apparent that as part of the process, the insertion of a penis in my arse was a likely side-effect. Now I generally believe that you should try anything once, but I still think that was probably the best choice.

Anyway, it's clear to me what I have to do next, so I'm off to do get the Metro to Newcastle Airport.

I can't actually afford to fly to Paris, but I might well indulge some naked poledancing on the way.